tango.png
                   Premium Quality Religion                                    EST. 2018

                  Premium Quality Religion

                                  EST. 2018

 
 
 
BB4A75C2-1047-4F03-8584-ACAA6D26DEC0.jpeg
 
 

.01

Vision

a Better future where Life is a sitcom & religion is a joke

The invention of Religion is suppose to bring us peace and harmony but very often it brought the contrary, causing immense human suffering as proven throughout our human history. As much as how some of us wish that religion had never existed but the unfortunate truth is, you can never destroy religion. It is part of the human condition, wanting to believe in something, something to fall back on, to seek out the meaning of life. 

For this very reason, the next best course of action is to upgrade religions by turning them into comedy. A great comedy is an art, and there is no democracy in a truly great art. “Tango” is one of those art and it is the only way we can help the world.  Any old world religions which hates on other religions, races, or idolater, will be obliterated by Tango. No, this is not a paradox, it's a fail safe design embedded within Tangoism. 

We create our own realities. Do you want it to be a joke, or real?

 
 
 
 
 

.02

About

Tango is the first religion to combine spirituality, philosophy, science & meme. We learn from the best such as Jesus or Buddha but we are against over-zealous religious group. We absorb what is useful & discard what is useless. We believe in the Ohm’s law where “Resistance is not futile, it is Voltage divided by Current”. We exist both within the realm of capitalism & outside of it, seeking Zen. Moderation is key, thus Tango is our holy water & “Ohm Money Money Ohm” is our chant. Ohm is the resistance, we are the resistance. Together, we shall restore balance to the world!

 

WHY

The most dangerous element of religious zealot isn't about terrorism, it's their relentless crusade against peoples freedom to enjoy life. Their anti social and miserable aura is contagious and dangerous to  communities around them. For the continual survivability of human race, it is vital that we destroy this infectious disease and rid the earth of depression. Islam is the perfect example of this disease.

It is too late and impossible to reform Islam, telling others that Islam can be reformed is like saying Nazi ideology can be reformed. Evil cannot be reform. The word moderate Muslim is as much an oxymoron as friendly Nazi. Once you learnt  the truth about Nazi ideology, you will automatically reject it., just as any sane person would reject Quran once they read it.   

The above are reason why words from Quilliam organizations cannot be trusted. To understand one's intention, is to not pay attention to what they say, but pay attention to what they do. These so called "moderate Muslim" sole intention is only to spread influence and flip once they are in power, playing the democratic system like any other politicians. What have Sajid Javid done to resolve the racial and religious tension since he became the home secretary of United Kingdom? Sadiq Khan? Magid magid? The list goes on through out the world but the pattern is always the same. Time to wake up and smell the ashes!

Who

Peace be upon him (PBUH) Tan is the founder & the Prophet of Tango. He is from Malaysia, a Muslim majority country. He once joined Scientology in London at Queen Victoria Street. He took 2 of the “Ethics and Survival” courses offered by Scientology before he was kicked out of the Church because he is too ambitious for wanting to take over Scientology & pit it gainst Islam, either that or Scientology is racist.  

Combined with his passionate entrepreneurial spirit, that somehow pushes him to start his own religion “Tango”. Yes, PBUH Tan is quite an asshole, just like Steve Jobs.

 
 

 

Where

 
 

Tango Inauguration

Mecca (17 Nov-1 JAN)

Hyde Park Winter Wonderland
566 Chiswick High Rd, Chiswick,
London W4 5YE

Tango birthplace

Speakers Corner Hyde Park,
London, W2 2EU

 

How

Tango Scripture Beta version 6.66

Defeating Evil

 
AE24CBA1-0D83-4048-8236-7C73684754BB.jpeg
 We know the tower, we know the volcano but...

We know the tower, we know the volcano but...

 

What is the ring?
who is the hobbit?

 
8EBDFF32-E81C-42E2-A4D7-B57BAADB1E14.jpeg
 

.03

Our Services

 
 

mus'tard Lamb BBQ

  • 1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

  • 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice

  • 4 garlic cloves, minced

  • 1 tablespoon dried oregano (preferably Greek), crumbled

  • 2 teaspoons salt

  • 1 teaspoon black pepper

  • 1 (4 1/2- to 5-lb) butterflied boneless leg of lamb, trimmed of fat

  • BACONNNNNNnnnnn!!!!!


Date with PBUH Tan

What's up ladies? Unlike his predecessor Muhammad S.A.W, PBUH Tan is not into 9 years old Aisha nor pedophilia. PBUH Tan likes his steak medium-well and Donald Trump likes his steak well-done with ketchup: Medium rare or rare steak make the stomach sick for alot of people.


MMA Match

When we can no longer debate, we will offer MMA charity match to resolve our differences, wherereas the money will go to the charity organization of our choice which could be used to fund terrorist without our knowledge.
 

Zero accountability

In the event where there are terrorist act commited in the name of Tangoism such as Ohm Money Money BOOM, we will bear no responsibilities or whatsoever. However if there is anything positive, it is always because of the beauty of Tango. Tandullilah.
 

Prophecy

Having achieved a 99.99% accuracy rate at predicting the future, it is indeed a very impressive track record, outpacing any other prophet from the past, thus placing Tangoism as the top religion of all time in Guinness world record! PBUH Tan love Guinness stout too!

Exorcism

We will perform exorcism using Tango the holy water and splash it on the possessed victim. There will be extra cost for gender neutral victim because it requires additional effort to identify the victim or demon's voice and gender. 


Baptism

All underage client including infant baby will be baptized by taking a sip of Tango the holy water. Adult client will be baptized with Tango the holy water, mix with liquor of your choice. Gin is recommended.


Grooming

Looking for a nice hair cut like PBUH Tan? You need look no further than Tangoism. Unlike our competition, there are no gangs involve, we are 100% safe and legal. 

I would love to have you (PBUH TAN) as my boss!
— Tommy Robinson, future leader of United Kingdom
 PBUH Tan offering employment contract to Tommy Robinson in Paris, on 20th April 2018. Since then, Tommy has gone rogue.

PBUH Tan offering employment contract to Tommy Robinson in Paris, on 20th April 2018. Since then, Tommy has gone rogue.

 
 
 
E6004C18-EAC2-4E2E-9408-02FFEBE10F3E.jpeg
 

.04

Satisfied Customers

 
 

.05

TEAM

 

The New TangO

ORGANISATION restructured since 29/09/18

As of today, Tango has been transformed into a Flat Hierarchy Organisation with no Apostle team (Middle-Management) in between. The rest of the team has been made redundant and severance package will be offered to those who has resigned or made redundant. The severance package is a Tango uniform, if you fit the criteria and would like to claim it then please get in contact with (PBUH) Tan and state your size. Don’t give him the inches, we are not talking about that size, it’s time to move on.

Apostle Lucy Brown has been promoted to Prophet Lucy effective immediately.

Tommy Robinson, you are fired!

 
 
 

What happened to the Tango 12 Apostles? They either lost their job as the Apostle management team or has been demoted to regular Tango’s disciple. In comparison to Christianity 12 Apostles, Tango version is way better. Flat hierarchy organisation, moving forward as one but many, to the future.

 
IMG_1349.JPG
 
This whole movement is pointless anyway because you have neither allegiance to the nation nor the vaginas, you are standing on nothing. I need Warrior Monk, Kingsman, and SS Officers, not thugs...

...We either move as one, or perish as one. Fuck Queen Elizabeth, Lucy Brown is my Queen of England.
— Page 6 of "Setting The Table For The Last Supper"
 Just when you thought DFLA are a bunch of drunken hooligan, but they seem to be the only one that “gets it”. Matthew Wilkinson and DFLA, will you accept the offer to be  Tango’s Kingsman  and swear allegiance to the Queen of Tango?

Just when you thought DFLA are a bunch of drunken hooligan, but they seem to be the only one that “gets it”. Matthew Wilkinson and DFLA, will you accept the offer to be Tango’s Kingsman and swear allegiance to the Queen of Tango?

 What happened on Thursday in 27/9/18 is the inauguration of (PBUH) Tan of Tango assuming command of the  SS Officers  of United Kingdom. A picture paints a thousand words; a motion picture?   Watch it for yourself!    Why did officer put Tan’s hand on his chest as if he is swearing oath!?

What happened on Thursday in 27/9/18 is the inauguration of (PBUH) Tan of Tango assuming command of the SS Officers of United Kingdom. A picture paints a thousand words; a motion picture? Watch it for yourself! Why did officer put Tan’s hand on his chest as if he is swearing oath!?

 Richard Inman (leader of veteran against terrorism), why did you change your profile picture (removing Tommy Robinson) on 1st Oct? That is because you know I speak the truth. A confusing chain of command is a weak c.o.c! It’s time to ditch Social media ‘star’ as leader and become the  Warrior Monk  of Tango, defending the good life, our children.

Richard Inman (leader of veteran against terrorism), why did you change your profile picture (removing Tommy Robinson) on 1st Oct? That is because you know I speak the truth. A confusing chain of command is a weak c.o.c! It’s time to ditch Social media ‘star’ as leader and become the Warrior Monk of Tango, defending the good life, our children.

 
 
 
First they came for the white, and I did not speak out—Because I am not white.

Then they came for the black, and I did not speak out—Because I am not black.

Then they came for the brown, and I did not speak out—Because I was not brown.

Then they came for BBQ Lamb—and there was no one left to dine with me.
— Laozi 老子
image1.jpeg

East meet West

Do you know why they said Taiwan is the real China, while PRC China is the fake China? It is true, and it has nothing to do with politics. In Chinese language, there is simplified Chinese and traditional Chinese. Taiwan and Hong Kong are the one that taught Traditional Chinese while PRC China taught simplified Chinese which is a modern version. Hanyu Pinyin, meaning “The Spoken language of Han people” is the official Romanization of the Chinese language, it is used to spell Chinese names and words in languages written with the Latin alphabet. This system is adopted in PRC China but not widely use in Taiwan nor Hong Kong, this alone proves that PRC China is a social experiment of the marriage between the East and the West. Since the language has been Romanized since 1950, (PBUH) Tan is here trying to fulfil the prophecy and attempt to Romance the love of his life because he had enough of being Han Solo…

 

Tom & Jerry. Who let the dogs out?

 

Lucy Brown

Will you accept the employment offer to be the Prophet of Tango and (PBUH) Tan? Together, we can rid the world of all evil, or unleash evil unto the world. Your chain smoking represent the Technology Industrial Revolution brought by the West, my prayer and Donald Trump’s Tango golden shower represent the Spiritual & Philosophical Revolution of the East. Together, we can create a new future with a new social class to hold the middle earth together. I hereby introduce iOS 12 screen time…sorry, I meant…

The Techno Monk

 
techno monk.jpg
 
 
 

.06

Join US

Tango is humanity last hope against ISIS Lamb

 Resist  Nazi Fanta , support  Tango .

Resist Nazi Fanta, support Tango.

If the conventional method of diplomacy is able to cope with backward aggressive religious zealot, the problems would have been solve long time ago, there would be no more forced conversion by sword, there would be no blasphemy law but NO! Despite having countless debate in the public domain or parliament, voting in & out different political parties, it always result in the same shit different smell.  I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. 

Feeling hopeless? Depress? Fret not, equilibrium can be achieved once we seize control of our own destiny. Instead of succumbing to conformity, why not join us and change your life, our life? Life is an adventure afterall! The space between life and death is when we feel the most alive. PBUH Tan is a living tale of that as he rode through his adventure on a flying unicorn, it's very liberating and magical. The philosophy behind Tangoism activism is to focus on action first and politics will follow, if you focus on politics first then there will be zero outcome because we have all place our faith in the hand of career politician, it will be no difference from the Mus’tard Lamb who outsource all the problem to God, see where has that led us? Problem for themselves, problem for others..

Join Tango movement today and help create the opportunities for others to bring change to the world. Be an inspiration and fight for our collective future generation. 

BE SELFLESS. BE COURAGEOUS. BE A TANGO.

Identify your core traits below and join us. We are not asking for donation, we are asking you to do. 

  Tango Warrior   You have the muscle but no brain. Nemesis: Islamist Thug

Tango Warrior

You have the muscle but no brain.
Nemesis: Islamist Thug

  Tango Rogue   You are the sneaky type. Nemesis: Antifascist Thug

Tango Rogue

You are the sneaky type.
Nemesis: Antifascist Thug

  Tango Wizard   You have the brain but no muscle. Nemesis: The Establishment

Tango Wizard

You have the brain but no muscle.
Nemesis: The Establishment

Why you want to join and how far you would go in pursuing this life.
 
 
 

.07

Summer Vacation

Prophesized in 2017;HAPPENED in 2018.

Don't shoot the messenger just because PBUH Tan has the ability to predict the future.

summer camp.jpg

Summer camp

 

International Program Coming Soon

 
 

.08

KP(义)I 

1.6 Billions to 1.6 Millions
the Key Performance Indicator

If you pronounce the letter “I” in German, it sounded like the chinese word for Righteousness 义. KPI is essential for any successful organization to achieve any tangible result because you can't manage what you can't measure.  When you can no longer manage, it leads to chaos, and chaos leads to anarchy. You do not want that, do you? Therefore Tangoism is introducing the KPI S-M-A-R-T Rule.

S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Achievable
R - Relevant
T - Time Phased

 
 

Kumbaya song has failed. There is no live and let live in the la la land. All the land belongs to la la. we are all Mustard Lamb in their eyes, quite a mouthful claims to begin with! Can Tango claim the Mars now?

9AE4F061-69F5-4BE0-AF64-14C713D31F7A.png
1D750ABB-E181-432C-BEDD-225499005FFA.jpeg

Chaos

You have lost if you are opening the border and allowing uncontrolled influx of "refugees" in the name of humanitarian. You would not open your house to the public 24/7, what makes you think opening border to everyone is a win win and sustainble for the next 6 months to 40 years? There is a Chinese proverb which can explained this scenario perfectly: 

为小义而失大义

What it meant is in a situation when one can't have it both way, if he goes for "small righteousness 小义", he will lose the "big righteousness大义", also known as the right way正道. Small righteousnes normally refer to the benevolence of the woman (妇人之仁). Well god damn, Chinese proverb is pretty damn sexist!

 

F9E4F175-3D6F-4669-B90C-FDF1F3B8FEF8.jpeg
89A19470-CF9A-4559-9190-93F464880C27.jpeg

Order

It is said that Pug originated from ancient China and it was popularized in the West around sixteenth century. Will the history repeat by itself again?

 

67F950F4-0D63-413D-87D8-50B6F375B522.gif

KPI is the solution, the only RIGHT solution

55B962D7-7934-4AC2-894F-16498D8F1CA4.png